What's Been Going On?

I haven't posted anything in so long. I've actually been feeling guilty about this. The truth is, and as hard as it is to admit this, I actually have been a little let-down lately. Not about Alex of course, he is growing and he is obviously the happiest baby ever but, I think I'm just waiting for my little boy to one day, start babbling and I'm assuming this will happen soon just out of the blue. Part of the reason is I am going back to work in 1 week! I desperately want to be around when he starts babbling vowel/consonant combination but I have to come to realise I won't be. Realistically, he is only 1 month old (hearing wise).

Any parent of a child in our shoes can surely understand the dynamics of this situation. I feel I've worked, worked non-stop for an entire year to bring Alex to this point...all worth it of course however, I just wish I could reap the benefits of his hearing more then the 3 hours a day and on weekends my future holds. In a perfect world I guess.

The start of this week will be filled with brainstorming, planing, executing my return to teaching grade 5 and 6, all along, reminiscing about my past year off with Alex. The year was amazing, probably very comparable to any new mother except:  finding out your child is deaf, driving your child to dozens of testing appointments, doctors appointment, getting the run-around from a hand full of people/paper work that needed to be done, more driving (far distances) to more appointments, a surgery and three days in a hospital comforting your baby, follow-up appointments, mourning what you thought you lost, accepting what you now have, adopting a new way of parenting, a new way of life all together on top of every First Year baby experiences. This has no doubt moulded me into a much stronger person, a person who really sees The Big Picture compared to all the shallow petty things she did before. Thinking right now of everything that happened...just too much to even type, and it all makes me feel exhausted and triumphant all at the same time.
Alex, I love you, I want all the best for you and I promise you, despite the bumps in the road, your happiness comes first! xoxo