Monkey See...Monkey Do!

I need to charge the batteries on my video camera and seriously start recording these things. First, Alex is producing some great new sounds. He learned that a dinosaur or a lion makes a roaring sound. He roars really well. Second, last night Al was eating dinner he blurted out a "ah" sound repeating after me. When I feed him I open my mouth wide and say " ah ah ah" three times. This morning while eating breakfast, Alex actually repeated after me, three times "ah ah ah" multiple times. He is so good at taking turns too. Also, after showing him his picture with Santa (taken last night) I would say to him "ho ho ho" he couldn't actually say that but he did hum under his breath three quick hums. Amazing how there is now proof of Al's hearing finally coming out of his mouth and not just with his expressions and behaviors.
Can't wait for Christmas break with him (2 whole weeks). Looking forward to working hard with hearing and more AVT goals!
Finally, Alex loved going to see Santa, didn't play shy and sat on his lap like a charmer while the photographer only shot two pics before getting this one!

Routine Change Up

Well I've officially been back to work for a week and two days. Alex has spent three days so far in the daycare at my school and he absolutely loves it! It's somewhat sad that he is not even a little upset to see him mommy leaving...well sad for me at least! It's much harder on me then on him since he adapts so well and is so social already!
New developments with his hearing have come up some good some not so good. First, he has on a few occasions pointed at himself when asked the question "who is Alex and where is Alex?". He is no fool though since he immediately starts pointing at himself first thing in the morning when I put on his ears he tries to trick me into thinking he is answering the question before it is even asked. But, like I said a few times he has done it. Also, he is letting me know when he hears new sounds more and more often. Today I began banging his spoon on his bowl of oatmeal (not sure why I did that) and he would point to his left ears indicating "I heard that".
Unfortunately, more then ever it has been a battle with Alex to keep his ears on. He takes them off often during the day, it used to be when he was tired but I'm fearing now there is another reason I can't put my finger on. All of his caregivers are committed like us to having him wear them 100% of waking hours of the day. We just need to keep him distracted I guess!
AVT tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it very much.

He is close!

Alex is very close to beginning to imitate sounds. Thus far, he is very good at taking turns when we play with sound. For example, I will make the sound of a car driving by while playing with one of his toy cars (his favorite toys) and he will then take his turn and begin humming, not at all the same noise but serious attempts.
He copies a clicking noise we make with our tongue and the "mouah" from a kiss.
He began days care this week since mommy is back at work. He is also with secondary caregivers some of the week (my mother and mother-in-law) and he is adjusting so well to the routine. I am definitely having a harder time with it then he is.
All in all, I just wanted to mention he is so much more vocal compared to a month ago!

Back to Working Life

Back to work tomorrow after 1 year, 1 month and 2 weeks. 'Nough said...

ALEX!!!

Alex constantly attempts to go for the dogs food bowls. I am constantly saying his name out loud to get his attention and tell him "no". Lately, every time I call his name he's been looking up and looks at me. It's amazing to think he knows I'm calling to him.

Today he did great at his Auditory Verbal Therapy session. We actually think he is trying to imitate the sounds we make. It's actually really cute, his mouth open and closes in the right motions but nothing comes out. He can actually imitate a clicking noise. I hope to get it on video soon.

In the video, you see him bobble his head around...that's him dancing to the music. He's been doing this for about a week or two.

What's Been Going On?

I haven't posted anything in so long. I've actually been feeling guilty about this. The truth is, and as hard as it is to admit this, I actually have been a little let-down lately. Not about Alex of course, he is growing and he is obviously the happiest baby ever but, I think I'm just waiting for my little boy to one day, start babbling and I'm assuming this will happen soon just out of the blue. Part of the reason is I am going back to work in 1 week! I desperately want to be around when he starts babbling vowel/consonant combination but I have to come to realise I won't be. Realistically, he is only 1 month old (hearing wise).

Any parent of a child in our shoes can surely understand the dynamics of this situation. I feel I've worked, worked non-stop for an entire year to bring Alex to this point...all worth it of course however, I just wish I could reap the benefits of his hearing more then the 3 hours a day and on weekends my future holds. In a perfect world I guess.

The start of this week will be filled with brainstorming, planing, executing my return to teaching grade 5 and 6, all along, reminiscing about my past year off with Alex. The year was amazing, probably very comparable to any new mother except:  finding out your child is deaf, driving your child to dozens of testing appointments, doctors appointment, getting the run-around from a hand full of people/paper work that needed to be done, more driving (far distances) to more appointments, a surgery and three days in a hospital comforting your baby, follow-up appointments, mourning what you thought you lost, accepting what you now have, adopting a new way of parenting, a new way of life all together on top of every First Year baby experiences. This has no doubt moulded me into a much stronger person, a person who really sees The Big Picture compared to all the shallow petty things she did before. Thinking right now of everything that happened...just too much to even type, and it all makes me feel exhausted and triumphant all at the same time.
Alex, I love you, I want all the best for you and I promise you, despite the bumps in the road, your happiness comes first! xoxo

Likes and Dislikes

I feel lately I have had nothing to post about until today. I have honestly been just spending time with Alex hoping he will start babbling or do something different with his hearing that will catch my attention. Today, it became clear Alex is developing his opinions on what sounds he likes and dislikes.
As per the video below, Alex really loves when I make the noise of filling up his tractor with pretend gasoline. Smiling to a sound is something that is brand new to him and is really showing me he hears well and can make his own judgments.
Also, he is starting to dislike certain noises. For example, I was using a staple gun to staple material over a frame I had made. Alex immediately tried to flee...too cute! When my mother took him in a different room then me, even though he couldn't see me, he could still hear the staples being pushed vigorously outward and he sat there looking around and began to become really needy with my mom searching comfort.
Other sounds he is not a fan of: the ATV being revved, the air compressor pumping air into the tank and that darn Sock Monkey Jack in the Box music he still hates haha.

Alex is Dancing

Alex received many great presents for his 1st birthday, most of which play music and sing songs. I began dancing around and bobbing my head every time he would press a button making the music go off a long time ago but more vigorously lately. My hope was that Alex would catch on and dance along with me and eventually start dancing by himself whenever he herd music. That day has come.

Today, Alex was playing with a new toy from his Auntie Caroline that sings songs with vocabulary words and while he was pressing the buttons by himself, without me in sight, he began bobbing his head back and forth to the music.

Another amazing proof he is hearing because first, I was not in his sight therefore, not mimicking anything. Second, he repeated the dancing multiple times.
What a great day!

Al's First Birthday Party!

I have so much to blog about right now. Besides the fact that I am exhausted from the party and the day, I'm experiencing a huge high from being so happy.

Today was Al's first birthday party and overall, it was an amazing day. Alex showed off his listening skills today more then he has ever before. Today, while everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to my little boy, I was holding back tears of utter joy and relief. We reached this milestone, finally, and oh boy, is it ever worth it.

The first amazing moment I always want to remember is thanks to a gift from Al's Aunt and Uncle. The gift Alex got a Sock Monkey Jack in the Box. To put lightly, the J-in-th-B was not well received. The first time it popped out, it scared the poop out of him. It was the combination of the slow J-in-the-B song winding down and the straggly sock monkey jumping out so quickly...how could ya not be a little "surprised". Anyway, where the hearing comes in to play was later while Al was playing with other toys, a guest began to wind the crank thus beginning the familiar music. It was amazing, Alex immediately stopped playing with his other toy, looked round suspiciously until he layed eyes on the J-in-the-B and began to crawl away. A frightening moment for him was a wonderful moment for me.

A second moment was when all our guests had left and Al, his grandma Hill and I were playing with his new garage/service station. We showed Alex how to put gas into his tractor and when he put the gas nozzle to an opening in his toy tractor, my mother and I would make a filling up noise "tttttssssssshhhhhhhhh". He learned quickly what noise would happen when he put the nozzle into to hole. He smiled and laughed and became very excited because of the noise, I know because we made sure to hide facial expressions and not make any gestures. So fun to play when sound is involved!

The third moment of the night was right before I got Al ready for bed. I was letting him toss around some Halloween candy bars and he discover a smarties box (the only one in the bowl) and began to shake it like a rattle. Based on the video bellow, it is apparent Alex knew that that particular box made that particular noise when shaken. His eyes reveal so much! Again, what a great day and a big THANKS to all who shared it with us.

Pumkin Patch

The other day, Mich and I brought Alex to Howell's Pumpkin Farm. Right out of the car we put Alex's ears on him and let him hear all the new sounds of the day. The funniest was a chicken coop filled with electronic singing and talking hens. Alex looked at them and took off his ears as soon as they began singing! After putting them back on he got used to the noise and looked at them very curiously, looked over at his father and then me and smiled since we seemed to approve of the whole thing! Alex has always been very intuitive and bases his opinions and feeling on his dad's and my reactions.

I think he loved the whole day! I know I did!

Side note, something that is sticking with me lately is a comment made by a passerby who was dinning at the same restaurant as us a few days ago. As this lady was leaving, she stopped to compliment Alex, saying "He is absolutely adorable". As I was thanking her she kept on by saying "No seriously, I have seventeen grandchildren but there's something about him...he is special!" and she walked away smiling at Alex. One day I want Alex to read this, and not to inflate his ego but I want him to know what a cutie charmer he was as a baby!

Ten Days In!

Alex is more happy then ever. I really think this kids loves to hear for the most part. He is so active and a few time he has actually stopped to look around for sound (like the doorbell) and hearing everyday things really encourages him to do more and more every day. As you see in the video above, he is crazy excited running and playing with his ears on.

As all of us get tired of certain things sometimes, well it's no exception for Al's hearing. Sometimes when background noise is really loud or when he is tired and it's approaching nap time, he will just pull off his processors (ears lol) and hand them right over to me one after the other. I know if he could talk he would say "Mommy, I'd like some quiet now please".

Alex's first birthday is coming up, I am busy getting things ready on top of dealing with day to day occurrences. I don't think I have ever been so stressed out in my life, for reasons I will not bore anyone with. But seriously, what get me smiling every time and what makes me forget about all the petty details is ALEX! The kids just knows how to change my mood and he is such a silly monster I can't help but laugh, play, talk and sing with him non stop. For every mother out there, we are just so lucky, let's take the most advantage of our kids, stepping back and remembering the little things they do to make us laugh.

Seventy Percent!

We returned yesterday (October 19th) to Sick Kids so Gina could reprogram his processors. We got to here each pitch that each individual electrode makes and it reminded me of a piano scale. This technology (Nucleus 5) never ceases to amaze me.
Once again, Alex is responding well to beeps and now he is even beginning to show us with his behaviour that he is hearing certain things in his environment. We changed the program in his processors today so he would be at 70% of his hearing.
We also had our first AVT (Auditory Verbal Therapy) session since Al could hear. It went great. Angelina, our therapist would say how smart she thought Alex was when he would concentrate so hard on fitting a heart shaped block into its proper opening. Alex is really smart and figures things out fast. A way he lets us know he hears is that he always looks up at his daddy. He would stop playing and look up thinking it was him or something. When he herd the drum beating behind his head he immediately turned to his dad and made us all laugh.
Near bedtime, Alex was just plain tired of wearing his "ears". He would take one off and right away crawl to me to place it in my hand. It's cool how he knows it's not a toy...again, he is so smart and intuitive. Also, since the program was turned up he is beginning to startle at certain sounds. I was banging his dessert dish against the table and he would blink every time. Crazy! Not even a week ago he was just experiencing sound for the first time and now he is blinking because of it and looking at daddy. I can just imaging the kinds of electric transmissions are taking place in his brain...wow...still amazed.

He Misses The Processors When They Are Off!

Since Thursday October 14th, Alex has been wearing his processors ALL THE TIME while he is awake unless he is in the car or bath. He did continue to cry every time they were put on in the morning until today! YAY! Alex seems to be getting used to them very fast. It still startles him when they are initially put on and he becomes a huge suck burying his head under my neck.

I keep anticipating the time when I start talking to him or I make a noise and Alex stops straight in his track and looks up or tries to find what is making that particular noise but I know that will come. I was told that Al's activation date is his hearing birthday. He is considered a newborn baby in terms of hearing. A newborn does not know how to distinguish what or who makes what noises therefore, I have to be patient. At least Alex is wearing them a lot, so the more he wears them the more he will develop his hearing.

Also, when I take off his processors or when they slip off, Alex stop what he is doing and reaches up for his ears and touches the naked ears almost like he misses them. It is awesome how he is rolling with this new sensation and embracing it. How fun!

Thought of the day: Can't believe how much easier CIs are to manage compared to hearing aids on Alex!

He Hears! He Really Hears!

Well, he hears! I just keep repeating it in my head over and over: "He hears! He hears! He hears!" Today was, to put lightly, an emotional roller coaster. The following videos show a little bit of the activation. Read on for the break down of today.

Today's wake-up call was for 5:45 in the morning, too early for someone whose mind was racing all night. We made it out of the house by 6:25am, the same time as we usually leave. Today's drive was different then most days in that we were in bumper to bumper stop and go traffic starting in Burlington and lasting all the way into York St downtown Toronto. I kept looking at the GPS estimated time of arrival as the arrival time kept climbing...8:30...8:50...9:05...9:31. I forgot to mention our appointment was at 9am! Needless to say, I started bawling away when 9am hit and we were still 20 minutes away. I kept thinking worst case scenario, our appointment gets re-booked, of course that is not the case because Gina (our audiologist) is so great at what she does, we had plenty of time with the 30 minutes left.

First, Gina was activating some of the electrodes in Al's ears. He has a total of about twenty and only a few were activated today. The following appointments will be for activating more and readjusting the programs. Alex has a four programs in the remote and we have to increase by one every day. Each program is a little bit louder then the last. Alex has been doing so good today thus far, so we increased him to 3 already. It's pretty cool we can control Alex's hearing with a remote!

As for Al's reactions to noise, at first he was conditioned to look up when he heard beeping. When the beeping would go off, he would look up to a bunny and bear in a box moving about. He was hilarious trying to trick us into thinking he was hearing. He would sporadically look where the animals would be and wait for them to come on so Gina would make sure to beep in his ear when he was playing. When he would hear, he automatically stopped what he was doing and looked up. What a great moment! It seemed like he liked hearing the beeps because he was smiled and continued playing.

Then, Gina advised us we were going to go live with the implants which means he would hear our voices and any sounds going on at that time. This was the moment I was dreaming of since his hearing impairment was diagnosed. He was going to hear his mother. I was hoping it would sooth him and he would look at me and smile. On the contrary, I made him cry hysterically! Gina had warned us he would probably cry so we were prepared. Funny, but even though Alex was super scared and upset, I was so happy smiling while my baby cried away. He quieted very fast and acted normal afterwards. Yay! I make him cry but  can also comfort him!

After more talking, a very wonderful person came in Gina's office. Dr. Papsin popped his head in t deliver something to Gina. Right away I went over and asked to hug him which he accepted. After our hug he told my husband he wasn't getting a hug from him. This man has such an ability to make you feel comfortable and happy, turn tears into laughter. He is such a miracle worker and forever I'll be grateful to him.

At the end of the hour, we had to make our way down the hall to the research lab. Since Alex had bilateral implants (on both sides) he has to participate in a research study. He had to do a ABR test. It was long but Alex did so well. The people who work there are amazing with kids and in no way Alex would ever be traumatized by it. At a few points when the volume was too loud, Alex's face began to turn red and he would cry but it was momentary. After it was done, I decided to put his processors back on. All day so far, every time we put them on him he cries.

It must be so scary to hear when you've gone almost a year without it. Now as I am typing here and as Alex is taking his nap, I can't wait until he wakes up and I can stick those processors on him! I am waiting for the moment when the crying wont come. Also, I never realised what a chatter box I can be. Literally I have not stooped talking to Alex...even my husband noticed. well the Rouleau house will not be a quiet house anymore! I was so looking forward to this day, now it has come and past I am looking forward to everything else!

I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart the following people:
Dr. Blake Papsin (Al's autolaryngologist and surgeon), Gina (Al's audiologist at HSC), Pat Fuller (The coordinator of the CI program), The entire CI program team at HSC, the nurses and staff on floor 5A in the recovery unit from surgery, Laurie Shaffer (audiologist at Hotel Dieu Sauver), Jennifer Dunlop (our family support worker and social worker), Angelina Cook (Al's Auditory Verbal Therapist), The audiology staff at Chedoke Hospital and everyone who has helped us get to this point! Sorry if I missed anyone but know we love you all!

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

Tomorrow morning at 9am Alex will be going through something I will never understand or have the chance to experience. When the activation happens I am imagining a wonderful moment where Alex's eyes will light up and he will have the widest smile on his brightened face. Well, that's what I wish, in reality, hearing might be a really scary thing for the first time. I know that most likely he will cry but it's okay because I know it will pass. Regardless, my mind is going crazy picturing what will go down tomorrow. I'm also feeling 100 different emotions at once.

Al's first hair cut (Thanks Ashley!!!)

This week Alex has been wearing his implants off and on since he keeps pulling them off! Two-way tape has been my friend, Alex of course, likes it less since it pulls on all his shaggy hair. So yesterday night he got his very first hair cut, behind his ears is all trimmed and ready for the equipment!




Tonight I am saying goodbye to my quiet baby, who does not coo, or babble or talk. I will say so long to my baby who screams these "break the sound barrier" screeches that so loud my eardrums ring. The funny thing  is, I'm going to miss that baby...

Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for? I think it is fairly obvious but I'll write it anyway. I am thankful for Alex, his cochlear implants and for all the people in his life that made hearing possible for anyone who seeks it. Laying in bed yesterday, after picking up the CI equipment, uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. This whole process is really almost over. Of course after the activation we will have AVT (Auditory Verbal Therapy) which we will take on full force but what I mean is all the 5am morning on the road, the unknown (will he be a candidate, will his MRI and CT scans come out fine) and tons of anxiety will soon subside. What I've concluded about all this is: it will be worth it, it was totally worth it!


On top of that great feeling, today Alex began walking from object to object taking more steps then ever before. He took his first steps in a row wearing his CI processors. What a great moment.

We Have the Equipment!

Yesterday was a good day, plain and simple. We drove to Toronto like we are so used to doing and we actually picked up the cochlear implant equipment. Arriving, we went straight to meet in Gina's office. Gina (one of the greatest people and audiologists ever) was there waiting for us with two HUGE boxes filled with magic. Honestly, I never expected the processor and remote to be so high tech. We truly have a bionic baby. Gina taught us all about the equipment while Alex played and I jotted down two pages of notes.

Then it was to try them on for size. Here is the result:

Alex walking with his processors after the appointment

Dad learning about it all

Ears stick out a little bit because his ears are still small






Side view, I love how is hair is so long !



Trying them with Snug Fit

How did we stop Alex form pulling at them???

BUBBLES!!!!!

Going home with my processors and lots of other stuff!

So now Alex is wearing his processors until Thursday when they finally get ACTIVATED and he will be hearing the world around him.

BIll C-577 and VOICE in the News

As a parent of a deaf child, I wanted to share a few things I am thankful we have as Canadians. The organisation VOICE participated in a press conference on Parliament Hill recently advocating for changes to the Disability Tax Credit criteria. I am in full support for Bill C577!!

"Hearing loss in children is a lifelong condition for which families and the children themselves will suffer increased costs.  The Disability Tax Credit is intended to help offset the additional costs of a disability.  Many of our families have had their applications challenged."

When I was attempting to fill in the paper work for this Tax Credit, we were told by a doctor that many of his patients did not get appoved because of hearing loss. I remember feeling worried and told him I wanted him to fill it in regardless of what his experiences were. He did and we were approved no questions asked. Too bad it's not the same case for everyone.

The existing criteria for eligibility for the tax credit and subsequently for the Disability Savings Plan discriminates against individuals with hearing loss who use cochlear implant or digital hearing aid technology and who have learned to speak. This costly assistive listening technology does not eliminate their disability.  They are, for all intents and purposes, still deaf.  There are many times during the course of their daily living, for example, in water and in noise, that they cannot maximize the use of this technology.  

The following video speaks of many situations in which Alex will not be able to benefit from his assistive technology. Many everyday situations will be a challenge for him. Therefore, I am so glad to see audiologists and other citizens trying to fight for families who are descriminated against. Once again, I am so fortunte Alex's application was not declined.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtIG7O7ys3w&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbyNIzT6KSA

Also in the news,

October 4, 2010 (Ottawa): Today, the Canadian Association of Speech-Language Pathologists and Audiologists (CASLPA) launched its position paper on Universal Newborn Hearing Screening (UNHS) as part of a national campaign to improve early identification of hearing loss in children. CASLPA calls for a Canada-wide adoption of UNHS programs in all provinces and territories.

I am very thankful for this hearing screening. I can not imagine if Alex had not been screened at birth how much more of a delay the entire process would have taken. I might not have even realized he was not hearing until much later. I can't even imagine. I agree that hearing screening should be done everywhere in Canada (which it is currently not). If you would like to read more, the following link is the full article: http://www.voicefordeafkids.com/article_pop.asp?artID=167

Fun at Zooz

This summer we had a seasons pass to Zooz Safari Niagara and we spent a lot of time there. As the season is coming to a close, we decided to take Alex yesterday since it was a beautiful day here in Stevensville. The animals were all awake and moving around. From the first day we went, I was amazed how Alex was so attentive to the animals. He loves when they walk around and make their own quirky movements. He even cracks up sometimes. For example he would laugh at the miniature horses tails wagging, at the swans wings flapping and he especially loves the wolves playing. We love hearing him laugh and just marvel at his instincts at work. His laugh comes out so natural, we forget he can't hear it sometimes.

But at least we see his other senses taking off. When he was feeding the giraffe, his eyes became wide open, his reactions are priceless. He loves touching everything and we know he is learning a lot from sight, touch, taste and smell. Can't wait until his senses are complete. 12 days!!!!

After the launch of my blog

I am totally overwhelmed with the amount of positive feedback regarding my blog. Unfortunately, positivity is not always a part of life. There is strong opposition to cochlear implants in the deaf community, a fact that many people in the hearing world find surprising and which I wanted to address. Before beginning to jump up and down for joy that my Alex is going to hear, I had to research both points of view. There are a number of websites and forums from the deaf community who have strong reservation about the choice to implant. The following website has many arguments why implants are not the best choice, especially for young children and infants: http://www.cochlearwar.com/index.html. They resent the fact that some think of CI as a "cure for deafness" saying that deafness is not to be cured.  Alex will always be deaf, when his CIs come off he will not hear but I feel based on our families current situation, even hearing most of the time is better then never. It is not to be selfish or because we are too lazy to sign, it is because we want all of Alex's doors to be open and he can make the ultimate decision when he is old enough.
I am truly sorry if anyone is bothered by my thoughts. My goal is not to insult, nor to convince but to share and hope Alex and us will be accepted by the deaf community. Just a few thoughts...

Post surgery

For my first post I wanted to share how Alex is doing since his surgery. First of all, I'm happy to report that he is back on schedule and bedtime is no longer a fight. For some reason, when we came home from our two night stay in the hospital Alex had the hardest time staying asleep. We attributed it to his pain and gave him prescribed morphine. He had really weird reactions to it. For example, he became extremely hyper. Of course I found this kinda funny since he would clap his hands uncontrollably and grimaced like crazy. End with the morphine.
I can't help but look at Al and see his ears sticking out. We were told they would go back to normal but it's funny, I sort of like them like that. Another surprise post-surgery is his head. I was not aware that I would be able to feel the implants so well. Rubbing his head feels like I am rubbing a robot. Again, very cute for some reason. The implants which are between his skull and skin feel so big, they take up half the sides of his head.
Now we are awaiting the first activation. For now, I am enjoying the quiet little squeaks Alex makes and the loud screeches. I am taking in all of Alex before he gets activated, becomes a sponge and I will never have a moment of silence again because I'm told kids talk a lot. lol.
I would truly be honored if you decide to follow my blog and share in this journey with my family and I. I will do my best to report Alex's goals in language development and communication. I will also try and keep current with all that surrounds the deaf and hard of hearing community. Thanks again for taking the time to read and share this blog with anyone you feel would find it useful.